“‘Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead,” – Pretty Little Liars theme song
Today’s daily read is brought to you by the letters “Shhhh..” as in, keep your damn mouth shut!
Why is it so hard for people to keep a secret? One theory I have is that secrets make people feel powerful. Oh, aren’t you just special for knowing something that no one else is supposed to know! When people feel that kind of power, they need to let other people know about it. I mean, come on! What good is power if people don’t know you have it? Trusting a secret to someone is giving them a small piece of your world that they can then control, in a weird way. So when word gets out that someone has a secret, the pressure is on for that secret to be revealed. I hope you trusted someone who doesn’t crack under pressure!
Another theory I have on why confidentiality is now almost extinct is that people don’t know where the boundaries lie. I have a perfect example to illustrate what I mean here. I have a group of friends with whom I used to work that would occasionally join together after work or for lunch. Since we were all friends, it was cool if everyone knew everything about everyone else in the group, right? Wrong. I told one of my friends something very private that was NOT supposed to be shared with the other people in the group. This was not the case, of course, and when someone else from the group approached me asking for more information, I was PISSED. I confronted the friend to whom I told the information. Her response? “Oh, it was just ‘so and so.’ It’s not like she is going to tell anyone or say anything.” Really? The whole point of me making it a secret was that I didn’t want anyone but you to know, so why are you spreading the word?! When you’re in a group of friends or associates or whatever, sometimes people don’t realize that there are boundaries within that group. One piece of information does NOT have to be disclosed to everyone. Chances are that the person who blabbed has blabbed to someone else who will continue to blab and a blabbing chain has commenced. This definitely happened to me, and I learned a valuable lesson about whom I share secrets with in the workplace.
And finally, the obvious theory: technology. Screenshots. Emails. Pics. With all of the digital madness of this world, it is getting really difficult for people to keep ish to themselves. When someone sends a juicy text to you, you have the urge to just screenshot it and send it along to your BFF, don’t you? Technology has made it virtually impossible to keep an effing secret. Why do people feel the need to share everything they receive in their inbox? Well, 1. Because people naturally like gossip and 2. If you receive something *ahem* risqué from someone you are not too attached to, why not share it, right? *eyeroll* There is no need for your inbox to be a library (pun intended). If someone sends you something, they mean for it to stay between you both unless they say otherwise. Stop being an asshole and keep the screenshots to a minimum.
In general, be careful who you trust. Take a second to think about what you are telling people if you really don’t want secrets to spread. And don’t send something to someone if you have even an inkling of a doubt whether it will remain in their inbox.
And ask yourself: Can you keep a secret?