“Your hair looks so good when it’s crazy!” Really?
Don’t you just love when you’re in a good mood, you think you’re looking good and you’re all confident and everything, and then BAM! You get hit with a backhanded compliment or someone says what they think is a compliment, but the comment is actually minorly offensive.
Don’t know what I mean? Below are some examples of backhanded or offensive “compliments” that really need to go somewhere:
“Oh my goodness, why don’t you ever wear your hair out? I love when it’s all wild like that!”
I’ve actually gotten this on multiple occassions when I chose to wear my hair out. Yes, I have big hair. Yes, it is luxurious like a lion’s mane. But, what? Why are you comparing my hair to something “wild”? Am I an animal? Why can’t you just say “I like your hair” and keep it moving?
“That’s such a cute summery outfit!” (It’s March)
Are you trying to say my outfit is seasonably inappropriate? What, because I have on soft pants? Saying I look cute but in the wrong season is not really flattering. And I’m actually warm AF, thanks.
“Are you wearing makeup today? You look good!”
Wait, whet? Do you really think that’s a nice thing to say? You’re basically implying I look like crap without makeup. Try again.
“You don’t (act/talk/look/smell/anything else) like a (black/brown/Asian/white/Hispanic) girl! I mean that as a compliment!”
I shouldn’t even need to discuss why this is not a compliment. I’m pretty sure it’s been covered so many times. But if you’ve ever said anything along those lines, you’re not giving a compliment. You’re actually insulting the rest of an ethnic group. Telling someone they’re a positive exception to the culture from which they were born is so terribly insulting. So, so, wrong.
“I like that color on you. It makes you look less pale.”
You should’ve just stopped after the first sentence. Thanks for reminding me of my lack of sunshine exposure.
“You’re beautiful! I’m really into (big/short/skinny) women.”
Can’t I just be beautiful without your added commentary on my stature? You’re the worst.
The list can honestly go on and on. If you’re going to give someone a compliment, choose your words carefully, otherwise you may actually be doing the opposite.
Have you heard a recieved bad backhanded compliment lately? Share in the comments below!