I hate to break it to a lot of you who swear you are emotionless zombies, but there is no such thing as a casual hook-up.
Once sex is involved, everything changes. Now, I know many of you will disagree with me and argue that it is possible to remove the feelings and just f*ck [for lack of a better term] but trust me when I say that even the best of f*ck buddies have their complications.
Don’t believe me? Here are some questions you may want to develop answers for before dancing in the dark with your new crush because without some insight, things can get pretty awkward!
1) You both had a casual communication thing going. It was far from an everyday thing, but you would talk when you truly wanted to. Then you had sex. Will the talking advance to more frequent/ lusty conversations or does it stay the same? If it stays the same, what does that mean? Was the sex wack? Are you obligated to turn up the lusty levels? Is it now disrespectful to disappear?
2) You shared an intimate moment – does this mean you are now engaged in a more intimate “situationship”? Once you’ve seen someone orgasm (real or fake) there is no un-seeing that. You don’t go back to being just “cool” with someone after you’ve seen them naked and vulnerable.
3) You’ve kissed goodbye because after the all the wild sex-capades, it just felt right. Does this mean that the next time you see each other there will be a kiss hello? Before you did the deed, this was not a problem – you could get away with the awkward side-hug or even just a wave.
4) Are you all exclusive now? I mean, there is nothing wrong with playing the field, but is there an understanding that now that you have shared bodily fluids, you are now exclusively dating? Or is everything the same?
5) If you do continue to “see other people,” are you now obligated to tell the other person about your other partners? Is it even his/her business?
6) Are you #TeamNoFeelings? Or do you have a right to get mad over certain things? Do you tell each other about your feelings now? Do you inquire about passed relationships and potentially beginning a new one?
7) What are the boundaries? Are there any boundaries at all or are you just seeing what happens? Lo qué será, será?
8) Is the 2 a.m. “Wyd” text an offensive gesture now? Is this now interpreted as a strictly physical situation? Are you okay with that? Do you desire more? Is it okay to ask for more?
9) Are you now planning to go out on dates with this new lover? Does this mean you are dating? Or are you only hanging out after hours?
10) Are people supposed to know? Is this a public fling? My rule of thumb is that if it is supposed to be kept a secret, then you have no business being involved in it. However, in some cases those lines get blurred and you do need to stay low and build.
I hate to be the one to burst your love fest bubble, but these are some of the hard-hitting questions you have to ask when getting intimate with someone. It’s best to face the facts and have some clarity than continue on a path towards clouded judgement and sympathy sex.