Honesty is a bitch, aint it…
Kiddos, I believe the time has come for us to be honest with ourselves. And in the spirit of 2015’s #NewYearNewMe agenda, being assertive in regards to your career is something that needs to take centerstage if we want to achieve that promise of greatness we drunkenly preached as the clock struck midnight on New Years day.
I’m going to get a bit candid with you all (as if I don’t already do), and fill you in on a worldwide exclusive – becoming a successful writer straight out of college is NOT easy. What’s even harder, is branding yourself to stand out from the rest of the millions writers out there competing for the same (very small) pool of jobs out there. As you learn more and more about the industry and just how competitive it is, you realize that you will absolutely take more losses than wins, especially earlier on in your career. When the weight of the losses bear down on you after your 1000th “JOBS” email to a company goes unnoticed, you find that your confidence chips away. And when you reach your one year anniversary of unemployment and you find yourself wondering how you even got here, it can be extremely hard to take the advice that you offer up to others.
Over the past month I haven’t been feeling my best when it comes to my career and life choices. And after several opportunities that I thought were going to be my big break flopped, I was beginning to feel like I had been blacklisted in the industry before I even got the chance to get started. That feeling of defeat began to sink in and I even considered just giving up on writing as a career altogether. I decided to open to my friends (ironically, I’m talking about all of The Librarians) about the situation, and low and behold, instead of offering up cuddling sympathy, they all on separate occasions, told me about myself in the most deferential way possible.
Spilled Tea: “You are way too humble. You have a talent that no one else possesses. Own it.”
A.Nikk: “Don’t give up. You’re way too talented to be so shy about your self. Promote you. You have us behind you, duh.”
Smaxxie: “You give advice so well. But you don’t know how to apply it to yourself. It’s time you start.”
Crazy right? I’m known to write an advice piece or two, which is never really superbly difficult for me to master. I love having the ability to articulate and dictate words of encouragement to anyone that might need it, and I pride myself on helping others in any way that I can. I talk a lot about having faith in yourself and not giving up in your craft, no matter how tough it seems. However, when it seems like no one is paying attention to you and feel like you’ve hit a brick wall, it can get a bit tough to keep the faith, much less take the advice that you continue to give people.
Which brings us to why I haven’t written a Daily Read in what seems like forever. For the last few weeks I’ve felt disenchanted with a bunch of things, but mostly it was the state of my writing and creation. As a writer, I pride myself on being as genuine as possible with whatever content I produce. And I couldn’t bring myself to have that space to write a post on “doing better”, when I wasn’t even doing that myself.
Learning to take your own advice is probably the greatest skill you can achieve as you mature into your Dumbledore years of wisdom. It takes an incredible amount of courage and humility to be that honest with yourself, but once you find the strength to do so you will feel so fulfilled. The best way I’ve found to do this is to keep a journal with your thoughts and actions (yes, I mean a corny ass diary – get over your coolness.) and get all of the feelings that you won’t allow yourself to say out in the open. This allows you to declutter your mind and leave some room to be open about your shortcomings. It’s no easy feat, but I believe in us. One small step for regular man, one giant leap for control freak creatives.
The number one way to continue prospering is to be honest with yourself and learn to accept that you are indeed, in need of good advice as well. Us boss lady types, we’re usually the control freaks who like to have it all together at all times, and usually think we know what’s best when it comes to ourselves; which doesn’t really leave much room for us to accept self-criticism. However, you need to realize that it’s okay to know when you need help. Because you’re not perfect – you’re human. And by you, I really mean me.
I’m still struggling to with this, but I’ve reached a new state of humility to learn about myself and think in a different state of mind to actually try and be the best version of myself. Take a moment and self-reflect. Be strong enough to accept practicing what you preach. It comes in handy more than you think.
Are you on the struggle bus as well? Drop me a note below and let’s talk about it.