I turned my read receipts on for a reason.
There are countless jokes about women (and men) not responding to texts or direct messages when someone comes along and shows interest. Most of these jokes have something to do with the receiver of said messages being so attractive that they do not have time to read through all their texts/DMs or thinking they’re too good to respond. This may be true in some instances, but it’s not always the case. I, for example, am not a 10 in anyone’s book but my own and I am certainly not too good for anyone. But if you pop up in any of my various inboxes with some nonsense, I am going to curve you harder than your favorite 8th grade cologne.
What is this nonsense I speak of? Well, it’s just that: nonsense. Why the hell are you bringing up random stuff to try and get me to talk to you? I’m all for humor (check out Smaxxie’s Corner) but I am also a grown ass woman. If you are interested in me, be a grown ass man. Do not pop up on some insecure mess. Here are a couple of examples of messages that are not going to get a response (or, if they do because I’m nice, a SERIOUS curve and a side-eye):
“Hey, why you ain’t talk to me no more?”
You really have to ask? Did we ever actually even talk or have we had random casual conversation? Because honestly, I have things to do. Instead of asking me this stupid question, why don’t you say “Hey, how are you?” If we were ever really about anything, I’ll answer you. If I’m actually interested, I’ll answer you. But if you are trying to rekindle something that was never there, boy bye.
Anything along the lines of being self-deprecating…
“I know I’m ugly,” or “I know you’re too good for me” are going to get you a curve. First off, you are saying this so that I will tell you the opposite. I know this. I am a woman and I used to play this game all the time. Emphasis on “used to.” Because I am an adult. Second of all, I am not too good for anyone. Don’t try and play a game where I tell you I like you by reassuring you that you are actually great for me. At this point, I don’t like you. Stop being immature.
“When are we gonna…”
…link up, chill, watch a movie and then turn it into not watching a movie, etc. Ok, if we have been talking for a while and you want to take me out, ask me like a damn man. “Do you want to go out Friday?” Yes, I do want to go out Friday, thanks for asking. “When you gonna come through?” Never. Put some tangible dates in there, and maybe I will.
Look, I know sometimes it’s hard to start a conversation with someone. I get it. Trust me, as a recovering basic, I know what it’s like to get no response. But if you stop acting like you’re fifteen, you can trust and believe you will make it a lot further than you think. Unless you and the person you’re texting are both in that place where you aren’t ready to be adults. In that case, by all means, link the hell up. Just stay out my inbox.