So, you were involved with a special someone…
Along the lines, things happened and you guys called it off. Since then, you have allowed for time to heal the wounds and for the ragging emotions to subside. You have done your best to put the past behind you and now he wants to reconnect. So, what are you going to do? Give him a second chance or leave him where you left him? Stress.
Now, let’s be real: at some point in our lives we will all have our f*ck ups and many will be very deserving of a second chance because it sh*t happens to even the best of us. However, there are some people that truly should never be given a second chance. Why? Here are some reasons why we must be very discriminating when deciding who deserves a second chance.
1) They are only in your life to benefit off your resources.
Once things ended between you two, a light bulb went off and he realized that you very well may be the best thing he has ever had. He is suffering without you. So now is the time to get back what he had: a strong support system, unlimited food, warm bed, etc. The plan is not to actually experience a real relationship, rather all the benefits of that relationship. And from what he can remember, he didn’t have to work too hard to receive those benefits. Therefore, he will do whatever it takes, including lie and manipulate his way into ensuring that you will come back. Well, that’s just too damn bad! Know that you are better than that. Open your eyes to the real and don’t allow him to sell you a dream — more than not, it will be the same sh*t, different toilet.
2) Remember the reasons for the split
Whether it was a mutual split or a dramatic ending, everything happens for a reason. Everything! While it is unhealthy to remain angry over passed arguments, you should never forget the raw anger or hurt you felt when sh*t finally hit the fan. Do you really want to feel that way all over again?
3) There is zero guarantee that this person has learned from anything since the debacle
While he may be 100% accurate about being a “changed man,” there is a strong possibility he is completely oblivious to the fact that he is doing the same sh*t that started all this mess! It is very hard to break habits and natural tendencies — some things will never change. If you weren’t okay with it then, what makes you so confident now? A second chance would require some sort acceptance of any flaw previously noted. Do you even have time for all of that? Nah.
4) You will have to explain to everyone why you are back with this person
All I’m going to say is that having to explain yourself repeatedly, especially to your family, will get annoying and old, really quickly. Save yourself the agony and just let it go. There are other fish in the sea.
I hate to sound like a Debbie Downer, but sometimes you really have to put your guard up – especially when things ended poorly the first time. As much as we hate to believe it, our lives are not romantic comedies. Those breakups, tears, and assholes who caused them are very much real. Unless you are okay with reliving the drama, I say you be very selective about who you deem second chances. Because after the second round of hot mes chronicles, no-one else can be blamed but you.
“Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”