Surely you’ve all heard, seen or experienced first-hand this clichéd stereotype… the Nice Guy finishes last.
Let’s talk about it. When does Mr. Nice Guy ever really contest? I mean, when have you ever really been intrigued about the safe, mild-mannered and controllable significant other? You don’t. You’re not. You may even mix it up and give it a try, but sooner or later, it grows old. Soon the excitement you once felt when he complimented your looks turns into this annoying feeling you get as he’s no longer sweet and thoughtful, but more like too clingy, repetitive or worshiping. Once there was a time when you were loving his willingness to go with your flow, and now, you can’t stand that he never takes initiative and is always waiting for you to decide. Say what’s real? The Nice Guy doesn’t finish last. He very rarely crosses the finish line.
But it raises an interesting question, doesn’t it? What is it about being so fucking NICE, that seemingly makes him so undesirable? Chances are he fits into at least one of these two subcategories of Nice Guy.
The Boring Nice Guy. – Unfortunately, this is what comes with being overly nice. Too often ladies, you get wrapped up in the drama of dating and new relationships. There is the tension. There is the not knowing when the “Not-So-Nice” guy is going to call (keeping it 100, that’s probably because you are more a potential side chick than potential wife, BUT we can save that for another read). Once you get involved, there are deep conversations and conflict. There are fights and then make-up sex. There is genuine curiosity in whether or not this new flame will garner the right gust, that sweeps you off and your feet, and turns into this third-degree burning sensation in your chest, resulting in a happily ever after scenario. Not. Likely. Problem is, the Nice Guy tells you exactly when he’ll call, and when he doesn’t, he texts you to let you know when he will. There is never a conflict or fight (meaning no make-up sex, sigh), resulting in you not ever being ready to breathe more air on this meager bundle of tinder for it to catch flame. Yawn, right?
Then there is the Ugly Nice Guy. – Damn, that’s cold! But no less frigid than the shoulder you’re about to give him, when him being nice just isn’t nice enough. The good looking guy gets play. Accordingly, he can be the “Not-So-Nice” guy, put in less work and STILL get more attention, DMs, Ciara’s “Goodies”, you name it. Sad, but true. Even sadder is, a lot of ugly Nice Guys try to make up for their lack of looks with lavish courting and catering to you as compensation. You’d be putting in little to none of A$AP Ferg’s WORK! and still own him. I know some of you ladies looking for a Sugar Daddy just got excited, but at the end of the day, you’ll never want to entertain the idea of your babies looking like him, annnd … PUT HIM IN THE DIRT! Obviously, more goes into a relationship than looks, but no amount of “nice” can make someone an attractive life partner if there is no attraction to begin with.
Depressing as it may sound, gone are the days where chivalry won Mr. Nice Guy the battle. Being nice is cute (unless you’re the latter subcategory of Nice Guy), but provides very little by way of thrill of the chase. So where does that leave him? I mean, Nice Guys need love too! True. And that love usually comes later. Much later. Later as in, you ladies are through getting your hearts broken when the “Not-So-Nice” guys, get this, AREN’T SO NICE at all. Then you look back, in the rear view mirror, to the friend zone. Where most of you leave the Nice Guys. If you’re lucky, he’s still there (if someone else hasn’t already gained from you initial reluctance). Yet now, he looks a bit different. Now he’s changed, but has he really? Formerly perceived as boring and dull, he reappears as stable and consistent. Strangely enough, that clinginess he demonstrated resembles the welcomed and refreshing attention you’ve been wanting. Finally, the Nice Guy get his chance to finish the race. His chivalry will win him the war. Do yourself a favor ladies… get out of your own way! Nice Guys are seemingly the future. Better getchu one!
*For more hilarious tips and advice, follow Jaffery on twitter at @Jaffreyxjoe___.