There comes a point in every long-term relationship where someone gets a wee bit too comfortable.
Everyone wants to feel comfortable about their significant other; if you feel uncomfortable on a daily basis, why the hell are you together? But I will argue that being 150% comfortable being 1000% comfortable can be a bad thing. Why? Because becoming too comfortable can mean being too much in a rut. A lively relationship needs some spice, and sometimes that spice factor is diminished when we see too much or do too little.
To help you decide whether or not you need to uncomfort yourself, here are 6 signs that you have become too comfortable in your relationship:
1. You become a bear in the winter (i.e. you give up on grooming).
“He should love me no matter what!” Yeah, of course he should! But if you go from being smooth as a baby dolphin to looking like you have Don King hibernating on your legs, you can probably expect the sexiness factor to go way down. If you shave in the summer, don’t be a bear in the winter and think your fluffy is going to turn him on. Same thing goes for you, guys! You shouldn’t become a critter and expect to still get the same response. You’re too comfortable. Is this shallow? Definitely. Does it really matter that much? Probably not. But this is the very first sign that you are crossing into the land of uber-comfort.
2. You openly talk crap about his/her family, friends, etc.
Oh, so you family now? You have the right to talk ish about my girls now? WELL, SIR, YOU ARE TOO DAMN COMFORTABLE! Since when is it ok to talk smack about the people your significant other cares about? Sure, her mom is naggy and her dad is scary as hell, but unless you want to get smacked in the face, keep your thoughts to yourself. The only exception to this is if they are actually causing harm to your relationship. In that case, you need to respectfully approach the subject and keep your insults to yourself.
3. No one sees you in public.
Being in a relationship means enjoying life together. The last time I checked, life involves leaving the house. If you do not actually leave the couch and Netflix for one weekend night a month, step the hell out of your little ball of comfort, my friend. I don’t care if you are a gahd damned homebody! Healthy relationships require exercise outside of the house. Go get McDonald’s or something, just get out the house. Go. Go!
4. You do things that should be done behind closed doors out in the open.
Ok, sometimes you have to pee so bad you can’t close the door. Sometimes you have to use the bathroom while your significant other is in the shower. Shit happens (literally). But if you are doing, ahem, things, with the door open all the time or talking about, ahem, bathroom stuff, like you have not a care in the world, stop. I’m not saying it’s not going to come up in awkward ass conversations, but don’t bring up your shit unless necessary. Pun intended.
5. You both let go.
This one is not as shallow as it sounds. If you are someone who keeps up with fitness and tries to live healthy and you are just so comfortable in your relationship that eating well and exercising falls by the wayside, there is more than your vanity at stake. Growing so comfortable that you don’t care what you look like can turn into becoming unhealthy. So, if you are exercising now, stick with it. If you’re not, no judgment here, my gym membership has collected dust. Just don’t adopt unhealthy habits because you’re ok with status quo.
6. You’ve become plain old boring.
This one applies to so many areas, but I know you’re all thinking it: sex. If you have gone from being the title of a Rick James song to becoming a one trick pony, you’re too comfortable. I don’t think I have to elaborate here. Whether our society likes it or not, sex is part of a healthy relationship (unless you are waiting, and in that case, you are so strong and I commend you on your commitment to your faith). Don’t let bedroom blues be the downfall of your relationship. Uncomfort yourself right now!