It’s a tale as old as time, that friendzone.
That annoyingly long list of delusions created from you taking adorable VSCO cam pictures while walking in the park with the person that you met two weeks ago, and being the couple that everyone hates, when in reality you’re barely getting a reply to the text you sent them 6 hours ago. Whether it be your ego, pride, or the fact that you just don’t like hearing the word “no,” it’s a hard pill to swallow that someone may not be interested in us for more than one reason. And though certain romantic comedies and scandalous love dramas have taught us that persistence and/or aggressive action is the key to making things heat up in your relationship, I’m here today to deliver some breaking news: It’s not.
As I’ve said to before, there’s an art form to accepting rejection and assuming a level of maturity in these very sticky situations. And though we preach about open communication and being straightforward with people, there are times where you just have to take a hint from the person that you’re pursuing.
Or in other words, learning the art of falling the f*ck back.
The Zone doesn’t exist because it’s fun putting people there (contrary to popular belief). It exists because no matter how hard you try, the person you’re interested in just might not see you in the romantic light, be attracted to you, nor is interested in taking the relationship any further. As someone who has made a conscious effort to be a nicer, more communicative person (I’ve been told that I’m mean to boys, sorry?), I’ve made significant changes to how I let someone know that I’m no longer interested in him by emulating a friend-of-mine’s much more patient approach of letting him down easily, all while still responding to his texts and “keeping in contact.” But what happens when you’re the one that has to place someone in that Zone because you realized that he just not getting the hint NOR accepting the fact that you are no longer interested in him? That, my friends, is when it’s time to put yourself in the Zone we have so often dreaded in the past, however harsh it might be.
When you’re dating, it’s under the presumption that you’re looking for someone worthwhile of your time, but often times, it does not always work out that it is going to be love-at-first-sight on that first date, as common as it might be. And since us youngins don’t know how to really interact that with each other yet, we take things to extremities a lot of times; which tends to make things a bit more dramatic than they need to be. Let me outline something for you all quickly: Stop overestimating the feelings that someone may or may not have for you. Whether you exchange numbers or body fluids with someone that you like, it does not mean that person is obligated to share the same sentiment that you have for them.
Trust me, as someone who has been through this awkward predicament a few times now (I once dated a man that lived in my building who couldn’t understand that I did not want to be his wife after date number 2. That was especially exciting.), I can say with full confidence that I can help you navigate the murky waters of someone’s seemingly psychotic nature. It can be infuriating, annoying, time consuming, even stressful, but never fear! I have devised a simple, fool-proof plan to help you combat this occurrence, and to ensure that it never happens again. Scribble down this next stanza and repeat to said person word for word:
“NO” IS ONE-HELL-OF A COMPLETE SENTENCE, HONEY. UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN US AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WE CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES. PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU, SIS.
Straight, no chaser. Like a beautiful shot of Jameson.
Happy Thanksgiving and I’ll see you all next week!