They say that your relationship is bound to fail if you don’t get the thumbs up from your boyfriend or girlfriend’s friends. This may or not be true, but I for one would rather be on my man’s friends’ good side. I mean, your significant other’s friends are the ones who get to hear your partner complain about you when ish hits the fan. So, here are a few tips to staying on their good side:
1. Stop trying so damn hard.
Do you smell that? I’m referring to the smell of fakeness. Your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s friends can smell it from a mile away. Don’t be fake to make them like you. That means don’t pretend to like the same music, sports, ANYTHING just for the sake of an impression. People are drawn to authenticity (for the most part. For the sake of my argument, we will not include the plethora of plastic parts that are currently attracting mainstream America. That’s a whole other story). Be real and don’t be extra. People will have their guards up immediately if they smell phony.
2. Realize that you are not the only one.
Ugh, I hate possessiveness. Chances are, your man or woman’s friends hate it, too. So the last thing you want to do is try to force yourself as a priority. Sorry to break it to you, honey boo boo, but your sig. other had friends (and let’s be honest, relations) before you ever came into the picture. Do not think for a second that you are more important than the people that have been around since day one. Uh uh, honey. When that day comes, you will be before a preacher reading vows. And even on that day, you will need to know that people need FRIENDS. They are important and keep us sane. You are NOT the only one.
3. Figure out where you fit in.
You don’t need to be omnipresent in someone’s life to have a presence. So to be friends with your man/girl’s friends, you need to know when you tagging along is OK. A Superbowl party? Sure! A group outing somewhere casual? Of course! But unless there is a specific invitation, you do not need to be at every event. That, my friend, is called being obsessive. Throwing yourself down someone’s throat does not a friendship make.
4. Agree to disagree…
Listen, I know first hand how hard it is to not argue with someone when you know you’re right. I mean, we are always right, right? So when a disagreement comes up with your significant other’s friends, it can be easy to just go full-throttle confrontation mode. A little friendly battle never hurt anyone, if it’s about something casual like sports or music or the like. Just do not get into full blown arguments with someone if it is a) going to become a big thing when it doesn’t need to, b) unimportant to your relationship, and/or c) make things awkward in your relationship afterward. We all know someone who loves to argue. Agree to disagree and avoid any awkwardness.
5. …But Don’t Be a Doormat
While it’s not a good idea to get into unnecessary arguments with your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s friends (do you know how hard it is to keep typing this??), there are some things that you should very well stand up for. If you feel like his or her friends are treating you disrespectfully or are unjustly trying to interfere with your relationship, say something. It is always best to talk about it with your partner first before approaching his or her friends, but if it gets to the point where something needs to be said, do it. If an agreement can’t be reached, then maybe you should reconsider some things. Just don’t try so hard to be the cool boyfriend or girlfriend that you don’t stick up for yourself when necessary.
It’s not easy to maintain a good relationship with both your boyfriend or girlfriend and his or her friends. You don’t even necessarily have to be friends with his or her friends, just cordial and accepting of the friendship. In the end, we all need friends outside of our romantic relationships, and everyone, both the people within the relationship and without, should feel comfortable and respected.
What are your thoughts? Have you had any experiences with a partner’s friends? Let us know in the comments below!