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Love and Relationships: The Swindle of the Overly Fine, Slightly Arrogant Man

Show of hands, how many of us are tired of one-sided sex?

Guys with an air of confidence are the vice of most women around the world. As a native New Yorker (we’re tough cookies here), I completely understand the rush of attraction you get when you see a man who is comfortable in his own skin walk by you. That bad boy, almost d-bag kind of confidence is one of the sexiest things that anyone can possess, especially paired with being extremely good looking. It’s almost as if the air of confidence is one of slight arrogance, which could be the deadliest trait of attraction to any female. One would assume that when you pick up one of these slightly arrogant and completely sexy men, that you would be receiving some earth shattering sexual climax to pair along with it – along with making your girlfriends extremely jealous of all of your newfound orgasm encounters that reads like a Zane novel.

Well, it’s safe to say that assuming made an extremely sexually frustrated ass out of most of us.

I’ve learned that possessing that kind of arrogance, while it’s sexy, is also one of the many downfalls to men around the world. When you start dating someone like that, you realize that they’re the total package – smart, funny, handsome, and for the most part, well endowed – and they know it. You find that you’re super excited after a few dates to see what this individual has in store for you in the bedroom. And then you find yourself doing all of the work during foreplay and wind up with 8 minutes of unsatisfactory thrusting, leaving yourself pondering:

I just ripped melted candle wax off of my vagina….for this?!

Why don’t the fine men know how to have sex anymore? Ladies, it’s because of the arrogance. Like a squirrel only concerned with their nut, most of the “sexy men” that I’ve dated or have talked about with other women have been the most disappointing in between the sheets. What’s weird is that most of those men don’t seem too concerned about the feelings of the woman laying under them nowadays. For example: an overly fine, slightly arrogant guy that I was recently dating asked me to come over for a little adult sleepover action. My initial reaction was that of internal excitement (Read: GURL YOU BOUT TO GET SOME ZICKKK), because he was A.) fine as all hell, B.) hung like Seabiscuit, and C.) made me when we want to lose the panties every time we had a steamy makeout session. That excitement was ultimately met with a vanilla 5 minute performance; only for him to say “I don’t have anymore condoms, don’t be mad. We can cuddle though!” after I requested a round two. I sat there, half-naked and exhausted from doing all of the work with no retribution, and only my annoyed thoughts to comfort me.

“You didn’t think to buy some condoms BEFORE I came over? And why are you snoring?! What in the hell was the point again?!”


I’ve had an old boyfriend once tell me that the length of the sex isn’t really about him, due to the fact that men can reach an orgasm the minute they have even look at a girl’s bathing suit parts. It already takes a woman longer to reach the peak than a man. Therefore, isn’t it the job of the man to impress the female in the bedroom with the ability to pleasure her to the fullest? What happened to caring about the needs of others first? Why can’t I climax too?! I think I’ve found the cheat code that’ll solve all of our problems girls, so listen up:

Stop complaining to your girlfriends and tell the man that you’re screwing you want mind blowing moment(s) of pleasure. 

The fine men are arrogant because us females let them become that way. While it is your duty to fulfill the man’s needs in the bedroom, it is also their duty to satisfy you. If you find yourself giving stellar effort while your partner is just laying there like he’s enjoying some chicken from popeyes, without an attempt to see what you makes you squirm, then that person needs to be told about themselves IMMEDIATELY. Show them how to make you feel good, and if they refuse to do what you ask, then you get up and leave and curve them the right way the next time they send you that lusty 12am text message.

The single life is supposed to be dedicated to learning about yourself sexually, and exploring all options of what this world has to offer. You deserve to have the occasional screaming orgasm (or even just a regular one) anytime you indulge in your sexual desires. Though the days of chilvary and men catering to woman have blown away with the likes of dial up internet and sidekicks, we are moving into a more sexually honest time period. Tell men what you want, and if they don’t listen, tell them to hit the bricks and get yourself a vibrator until you find a man that does care.  Speak up about what you want because honestly, we’re just a little too advanced to be engaging in mediocre intercourse at this point. Women enjoy sex just as much as a man and if you find that you are deeply unsatisfied, move on to the next one.

The overly fine and arrogant man can teeter the fine line of cockiness and selfishness more often than not. Limiting yourself to someone’s idea of pleasure will get you nowhere, regardless of how attractive they are. So buck up champ – Don’t fall for the swindle!


About D.HowE (118 Articles)
Editor-In-Chief of the tomfoolery. Feel free to join the convo by leaving a comment and following me on twitter (@dhowE_)!

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