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News: Man Arrested for Ejaculating in Co-Worker’s Coffee

Well this is disgusting.

image

via Wikipedia

CBS Minnesota reports that a Blaine, Minnesota man has been charged for ejaculating on his co-workers desk and in her coffee.

John R. Lind faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct for incidents that have occured since Februrary. According to reports, an employee at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton called police on Aug. 26., saying she thought Lind, was leaving bodily fluids on her desk. Apparently she caught Lind standing with his back towards her at her desk with is hands near his crotch. When she approached him he had a “deer caught in headlights” look on his face.

When he left, the co-worker said she found a lot of fluid on the desk that was dripping to the floor. Looks like someone is healthy, but that’s not the point right now. According to the co-worker she’s had issues with Lind for awhile. She has caught him numerous times with his zipper open. She’s even threatened to report Lind if she caught him again.

Here’s the best part however. According to CBS Minnesota

On Aug. 28, Lind agreed to meet with police at the New Brighton Public Safety Center, the complaint states. While talking with officers, he admitted to ejaculating on his co-worker’s desk and coffee on Aug. 26, which was his birthday. He then went on to admit that he’d ejaculated in her coffee twice in the last six months, and on her desk four times, wiping up the mess with the scrunchy

In a more disgusting turn of events, Lind’s co-worker claimed her coffee did taste weird on numerous occassions and attributed it to spoiled cream. It was spoiled cream alright. Police informed her that Lind admitted to tampering with her coffee, she said “I knew it.” Naughty, naughty girl.

Lind is attracted to his co-worker and does this so she notices him. Kids, ejaculating in your crush’s coffee will not get her to be attracted to you silly. We need to add that to the list of signs your bae doesn’t know they’re your bae.

 

 

 

image via Wikimedia Commons

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About A.Nikk (185 Articles)
I love food and social media

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