If you haven’t read Spilled Tea’s post on going to private school, read it now. If you have, please continue reading this post.
All caught up? Good! For those of you who felt left out because you went to public school, never fear! I am here to bring you twenty truths of being a public school student.
1. You either got free/reduced lunch, or you hated everyone else that did.
If your parents fell into a certain income bracket, you got a special card that allowed you to bypass the cashier. If you were outside of that bracket, you shot death glares at everyone else while you handed over your $1.50. Lucky bastards.
2. If you were friends with the lunch ladies, you got free meals.
There was always a way around not being on the free lunch list.
3. You were threatened at least once by a school bus driver.
“You kids sit down back there or you won’t be on this bus tomorrow!” I’ve heard that more than once in my day.
4. If you weren’t a goth kid, you were afraid of them.
Any person that looked like they sang death metal ballads in a dark corner was avoided. Hardcore.
5. If you didn’t have a car senior year, you were an outcast.
Who the hell takes the bus anymore, right? Wrong. (I lied and said I was getting one soon)
6. You hated private school kids.
Rich kids in suits? We hated you. (Although we know you’re lovely people)
7. There were rumors about the cafeteria food that made your skin crawl.
The hot dogs are boiled in mop water? I’ll pass.
8. If you weren’t in a clique, why were you even there?
You can’t sit with us! Jocks to the left, band geeks to the right! Keep it moving!
9. You stood up and said the pledge of allegiance or got detention.
I guess if the govenment is using your tax dollars to provide you an education, the least you can do is be forced to be loyal to it.
10. You got to use books that had swears etched into the covers
Who needs new books when you can have ones that say “c**t* on the front? Awesome.
11. You hated the honors students.
Why do they get special treatment? BECAUSE WE WERE AWESOME.
12. You loved getting ALL holidays off.
Haha, Catholic school kids! It’s Yom Kippur, and I’m watching The Price is Right! Have fun at school!
13. You decided how appropriate your outfit was by finger and hand-width.
If your tank top straps were less then three fingers wide, you were either sent home or given a cover up.
14. You were considered an elitist if you were in student government.
Who runs the world? Nerds.
15. If you didn’t play sports, gym class was embarrasising.
Why the hell do you want me to climb this rope again?
16. Field trips? TURN UP!
No explanation necessary.
17. You were on lockdown for a fight/suspicious person/etc.
Why Craig gotta fight again? Damn you, Craig!
18. Pizza Day was pretty much Elio’s on a tray.
There’s no debating that the pizza was less than delicious.
19. The computer lab was used for more than scholarly works.
Oh, there were ways around firewalls.
20. If you didn’t pass your state test, you were exiled into No Man’s Land.
Thank God I passed the MCAS!
If that didn’t make you nostalgic, I have no words for you.