I’m speaking on that pesky little habit that most of us have in calling people who go out and have sex with other people that are not our partners. That word is…
The epidemic (and yes, I’m calling it that because it’s blown to massive proportions) has to be one of the most misused and ignorant words of our time. Believe me, I know this may be a bold statement to some, as it’s part of our society’s vernacular to call someone this wretched name, but it’s about time that we abandon that word and that definition behind it.
For today’s purposes, I’m choosing to leave out the double standard conversation on who gets called a hoe behind, however, we must know that that term is applicable to both genders.
According to UrbanDictionary.com, a hoe is someone that “would fuck anything with two legs”, inciting that this person has no morals. But what is troublesome to me isn’t that the word hoe exists, it’s the way in which we use said terminology. There are many aspects to how the H word is used in today’s realms of reality, all of which are completely wrong. This is fact. Do not debate me on this.
Case and point, the use of the H word when describing a single woman who has sex with men.
This is my number one pet peeve with the word. (CAUTION: This is the most feminista I’m going to get, brace yourselves) In this male dominated society, there is an underlying belief that a woman cannot and SHOULD not have a sex life unless she is in a relationship, and if she does, there is some magically low number that she has to adhere to. Though tides are changing and some men do believe in not judging a woman’s sexual past, there is still a fair amount of shaming that occurs.
I wanted to gauge the thoughts of what the word meant to certain, and what better place to do it on than twitter. Check out a few of the responses I received:
Right? It’s interesting to note that most responses were from those who identify with the male gender, and while they believe that anyone who is immoral is considered a hoe, the term is generally applicable to females.
Bull. And. Shit.
Enough is enough. Most of you who have gotten to know me through my writing (and my tweets) know that I have a profound love for the use of profanity. I don’t mind a curse word in every sentence, but the term Hoe has GOT to stop being thrown around. Everyone likes to use a word that inherently shames someone, yet can’t agree on a singular definition. It opens up the floodgates for disrespect and bias, not to mention you can hurt the credentials of someone who is just living their life differently than you are.
The point is, if you can’t define the word accurately, then you should stop using it. Our generation is the most sexually advanced and liberated generation that civilized society has ever faced, yet we were raised on traditional beliefs and values from our parents. We’re teetering a fine line of confusion and instead of helping each other figure out our sexual liberation, we demean each other.
End of the day, stop using labels to judge someone. because you just don’t know their story. And honestly, how someone lives their life has no bearing on the way you live yours. And if it does affect you, rethink your position in life. It’s interesting to note that while mostly men responded to my question, most women on my timeline refused to answer, whether it be they simply didn’t feel the need to put their sexual business out there, or they were afraid to speak on the subject in fear of retribution if she is a single woman with active sex life.
Banish the word hoe from your vocabulary. If someone is going sleeping with any and everything under the sun, then that person obviously needs help, not to be shamed. However if someone is having an active sex life, stop hating and let them enjoy themselves.
As long as they’re being safe of course. 🙂