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The Daily Read: Make the Change or Don’t Complain

If something is out of your control, don’t worry about it. If it is in your control, own it and shut the hell up.


Today’s daily read may be tough love for some of you. But this tough love could just be a wake-up call, so listen up! I have a very simple piece of advice for you: either toughen up and stop complaining, or get off your ass and make a change.

I understand how hard it is to make a good living doing something you love. I understand that sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do in order to be able to do the things we dream of doing. And I also understand that it gets really hard and really annoying to have to put up with BS that you are obligated to put up with. I get all of that, because I have lived it.

The easiest way of dealing with the BS in your life is to complain about it. I am more than guilty of being a whiner and complaining about my circumstances. If it were not for a simple rhetorical question asked to a group of classmates during a training session, I would probably still be complaining this very moment. But I was asked this question, and my whole perspective changed: How long are you going to wait to do what you are meant to do?

Think about it. If you know in your bones that you were meant to do something, how long are you willing to wait to make that dream happen? Five years? Ten? Will you finally be an actress when you’re forty? Are you going to be at retirement age by the time you open your first store? You can get to where you want to be if you do what’s necessary to get there and not whine about it.

“Oh, but Smaxxie, it’s hard being a waitress! All I want to do is be a veterinarian! This sucks!” Hey, I don’t want to hear it. Work your ass off now, and while you’re at it, start taking whatever steps are necessary to become a gahd damned veterinarian. “It’s not that easy! I have five kids!” Um, did I say it was easy? Nothing in life is worth having if it’s easy. Except ice cream. And other confections. But if you continue to complain about what is holding you back or what’s nagging you or what is so hard, is that going to get you anywhere? Actions speak louder than words, so doing something about your circumstances is going to be a whole lot more effective than going off about them.

Sure, sometimes your complaining is what drives you to action. If you find yourself about to complain about something, ask if you have the power to change the situation. If you do, then change it. If you don’t, either toughen up and deal with it or leave the situation altogether. But for the love of Jimmy Kimmel, will you stop whining? Whining has never gotten anyone anywhere good.

If I were your personal life coach I’d tell you this, in a loud, convincing voice: GET YOURSELF TOGETHER AND STOP CRYING ABOUT HOW EVERYTHING SUCKS. MAKE IT BETTER.


And then I would walk away. And you would start to make changes and stop complaining. And the world will be a marginally better place.


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