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The Daily Read: Either Lull Your Insecurities or Just Be Single!

When it comes to relationships, everyone brings a little baggage with them.

Finding someone who is emotionally unscarred is close to impossible. Therefore, it is not my place to create false hope surrounding the idea. However, it is wise to find someone who acknowledges her emotional demons and does her best to keep them quiet in the back of her mind – rather than controlling every life move she makes.

So ladies and gents, there is nothing cute about allowing your insecurities to rule your life and more specifically, your relationship.  If you have yet to find a positive way to lull your insecurities and feel good about yourself, on your own, you need stay single for a while longer.  It is completely unfair to drag your partner down your long road to self-esteem while he has his own personal issues to deal with. I will never forget my parents telling me, your relationship is only as good as what you bring to it.  If you are broken as an individual, your relationship will suffer.  It is nobody else’s job but your own to make you feel good about yourself so stop relying on others to build your self-esteem for you – it’s SELF esteem!

Don’t get me wrong, being sensitive to a spouse’s insecurities is a respectable trait that is often overlooked on the checklist for relationship standards.  I mean, nobody wants their partner to completely disregard their feelings toward a situation.  However, there comes a time when a line needs to be drawn in the sand and you have to understand that life happens. Everyone in the world is not going to adjust their lives according to how you feel.

What I’m really trying to get at here is that people are going to do exactly what they want regardless of your insecurities; therefore, it would be wise to get them in check so you can stop acting like an actual lunatic. That girl on Instagram who keeps liking your man’s page [you know exactly what I’m talking about] …let it go! There a few things that need to be addressed here: 1) There will always be other people who are attracted to your partner. You should stop looking at it as a threat and start viewing it as a positive because out of all of them he chose you. 2) If your partner wants to cheat on you, he will – regardless of the amount of times you clock his phone and social media accounts.  Making yourself visible to all the “competition”, “threats” and/or “thirst” only makes you look like the insecure crazy girlfriend.  Please believe me when I say this, once you receive the title of crazy girlfriend, people will take screenshots and you will be talked about…and it won’t be nice.

It really drives me crazy when I see people in relationships who instead should be single and working on themselves. It is okay to take time to build yourself up–alone. Doing so means you care about your future, your well-being, and that of your prospective partner/spouse. Being in relationships where you’re only comfortable when your partner knows that you “have eyes everywhere” or “watch-him/her-like-a-hawk” means you’re on a collision course with disaster and, IN A WORD: Doomed.   It’s just TOXIC any way you view it and let’s be honest, where’s the joy in that?!

The most beautiful relationships are those in which each person has their personal life as an individual but willingly chooses to share themselves and their life with their partner.  Compare that to being “guilt-tripped” into sharing because “Baby doesn’t feel comfortable with your friends.” It’s time we all grew up! Let’s create happy, healthy bonds that can lead to flourishing partnerships rather than fragile, phony bonds that pave the road to disappointment, despair, dysfunction, and DIVORCE.


About Spilled Tea (69 Articles)
Life happens.

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