I’m not just talking to guys trying to court girls either…
I’m speaking directly to every person that is either in the beginning stages of dating someone or is in an extremely happy and loving relationship with their significant other. On behalf of every single person on these five continents, I beg of you…
Stop asking us why we’re single.
When we start approaching a certain age, the world seems to cave in on the idea that we need to have a set plan in regards to where we should be in all facets of our lives. It isn’t enough that we have an education, a car, an apartment, and a job it seems these days. As if it wasn’t enough to juggle all of the daily activities that a while balancing out the spectacularly painful stench that a New York City summer brings with the need to be at every event thrown on the weekends, we also need to worry about the eternally annoying questions of why we’re not in love with plans of an engagement and a dog in sight.
What’s even more annoying is when someone who is interested in asks you that extremely awkward question, especially on a first date. Personal Exhibit A:
Date: “You look too good ma [strike number 1], and you have such a dope personality. Why are you single? You shouldn’t be.”
Taken out of context, it appears to be as innocent of a question as asking where you grew up. However, when speaking with someone on their relationship status, the “Why are you single” question can come off as condesending and quite elitist. Being single is not some sort of disease or horribly lonely condition that we have to work through. Why isn’t it okay for a woman reaching the age of 25 to enjoy running around behaving like a Samantha Jones/Carrie Bradshaw/Joan Clayton hybrid?
The single life at times can indeed hit hard at certain points in a person’s life (particularly on those Friday nights where everyone has plans with their boos and you’re at home with your…erm, “netflix for adults”), but for the most part, us singular folk are single not because we’re too sad and washed up to find a partner. It’s because we choose to be. Most of us actually enjoy the (somewhat foreign) concept of not being in a relationship, choosing to enjoy the personal time that rarely comes our way. There is nothing wrong with us, nor do we hate love or despise male/female gender, however most of us just recognize that we’re not ready to open ourselves up to letting someone in yet. To be quite honest, that doesn’t make us low or depressed, it makes us smart.
So, for the love of all things Beyonce and chicken, please stop asking us why we’re single and offering your unwarranted “encouraging” advice. Let me sip my tequila in peace. And FYI, it is quite the turn off to ask someone you just started dating why their single. Write that down, *cough*fellas*cough*.
Over and out until Sunday darlings! And for a list of gifs that accurately describe my every emotion in regards to this post, check out this article over at Buzzfeed!