Some of us are fortunate enough to work with a lot of very good looking people. Some of us are also fortunate enough to have a fine, fine cafeteria at work that has everything from sushi to pizza to salads to burgers. All of this sounds amazing, right? Yep, until you have to make a choice and either a) be super health conscious or b) look like a fatty to the glamazons around you.
There is an epidemic in the American workplace, and I have dubbed it lunch shaming. What is lunch shaming? Well, it’s kind of like fat shaming but much less obvious and doesn’t technically count as bullying. Lunch shaming is the guilt you feel when your co-worker brags about how healthy they have been eating lately and rubs it in your face with a salad made for Bugs Bunny on steroids. How the hell am I supposed to eat this pizza with your artichokes giving me the meanest side eye? Not fair! It’s even worse when you hear things like “Oh, that pizza looks good! I am trying to cut out all of that crappy food so I can keep my beach body toned.” Um, okay. I can just feel the rolls piling up on my waist as we speak.
I am not saying that eating healthy is bad, because I believe the exact opposite: I would love to eat clean all the time! The reality is, sometimes I just want a gahd damn slice of pizza without feeling like I committed a felony. Having something delicious and fatty once in a blue moon should not lead me to want to cry under my desk.
How do we avoid these situations? Here are my suggestions:
1. Don’t discuss your new fad diet with your colleagues.
2. Don’t talk about how fat you have gotten lately from eating what is on someone else’s plate right now. You are in perfect shape. Cut it the hell out.
3. Mind your plate, please! Eyes on your own damn salad. My pepperoni is for my eyes only!
4. Most of all, stop comparing yourself with the person next to you. So they are a size 2. Whatever. Have you seen yourself lately? You all fine and stuff.
Your body and diet is your own business, and you shouldn’t feel bad about eating what you like. In moderation. Because diabetes is real in these streets.