We all just need some sex from time to time…
And who better to indulge in that carnal desire with than with someone that you already have a friendship with? Of course a hot friend would be the be the obvious choice for you to satisfy your lusty thoughts with, but after you cum to your senses (see what I did there?), how do you continue to be friends? Never fear my little heathens, I’ve come up with 5 ways to help you out with one of life’s biggest dilemmas:
1.)Don’t do it.
And that’s my first piece of advice for you. A lot of people believe that they can be perfectly fine with just being “fuck buddies” with their friends, but there is almost always a person in the pairing that develops feelings and wants more. You know that inner voice telling you not to make that bad decision that you continuously ignore? Listen to it this time. If you know that you’re a person that requires a certain level of commitment from a person that you’re being intimate with, don’t let your libido rule your decision making process and ruin a friendship with someone you care about. Do yourself a favor and hold out for someone else. Find a one night stand at a bar if you’re in that much of a need. Or let Pornhub be your bestfriend for the night. However, if you do decide to go through with it, don’t say I didn’t warn you….
2.) Allow change to happen.
Naturally, the scope of your relationship with your friend is going to change. You’re seeing each other naked every other night and humping like rabbits, why wouldn’t it? Learn to adapt to your new relationship with your friend. They might be a little more flirty with you in public (because you know, they’ve see you naked), or they act exactly the same with you. Don’t forget that once you stop messing around, things might not be the same between the two of you. Be prepared and always be honest with yourself.
3.) Don’t go demanding change either.
If you knew your friend wasn’t the person that would go on dates with you to the movies before you started giving up the cheeks, then why would you expect them to do that with you now? Remember, this is still the same person that you’ve been friends with before anything went down. There is no commitment to be had here, unless it is expressly communicated between the two of you. More than likely, your friend will have other people that they are pursuing and they will flirt with other people in front of you. If it’s just sex, keep it that way. Don’t assume that they will change their mind further down the line, because they won’t and you can’t expect them to.
4.) Always show respect.
Found a new person to mess with? Not really feeling the sex anymore with your friend? Then communicate that with them. Ignoring their messages and attempts to contact you will only cause controversy and will lead to a world of bitter. I hate to harp on something, but if you consider this person a friend, you treat that person with the same regard you would expect from them. Disrespect is a big no no, especially when you’ve added the intimacy component to your relationship. We have a tendency to run away from feelings and make stupid decsions when it comes to communicating, which is something that needs to be changed. Be an adult and let the person know that you’re not with this anymore, and 9 out of 10 times, they will receive it well.
5.) BUT don’t let your emotions control your actions when you don’t get it.
This is a given for all relationships, but it needs to be said again. When you start a “Friends With Benefits”, you have to remember that you are FRIENDS above all. Communicate with your friend about your friend, but you also have to remember that there are no strings attached in this “fuckship”, and you can’t become emotional when it comes to an end or when you’re not getting the commitment you wanted. If you find yourself getting too emotional over your friend, it might be time to pull in the reigns. Remind yourself that “Friends With Benefits” have a time limit, unless there is a potential for you to start a relationship. If you can remember to control your pettiness and that above all, this person is your friend, everything will remain cool. And if you let your emotions become the centerfold, remember the first rule. You knew better.
Friends with benefits can be a slippery slope to go down, but I’m confident that you will be able to navigate the murky waters of it all. Ultimately, the key is to not let your feelings get in the way and be adults in the situations. And if you do find yourself getting attached (or vice versa), identify it and pull back as quickly as possible. Friendship is more important than a nut off. Ghandi said that. Write it down.
Have any rules to keeping a friend after hooking up? Wanna yell at me for being emotionally uninvolved? Tell me in the comments section below!