So there’s this guy…
The beginning to any fabulously awkward romance novel – I know. But there’s this guy that I’ve known since high school. We knew each others names, would pass each other in the hallways with a smile or brief “Hello”; however, it was very clear that WE WERE NOT FRIENDS! Until maybe my last year of high school I’m pretty sure I scared the boys off due to my inexplicable teenage angst and rebellion.
Anyways this guy, John, started to date one of my good friends, Jane, by the end of our senior year in high school. Jane had been in and out of a few toxic relationships and when she and John made this publicly official, everyone was kind of happy for them.
John and Jane stayed together for quite some time throughout college and it came as a shock to most of us that Jane had moved on as she did – we won’t dwell on the details.
I too had found myself caught up in a “Matrix” of a toxic relationship for my entire college career but once again – we won’t dwell on the details. Long story short, I and a few of friends were caught in the delusional vortex of high school romances that extended past high school.
Once we finally took off the rose-tinted glasses, we were all a lot happier, healthier, etc. Pretty typical of high school turned adult relationships right?
But just wait, it gets better…
Fast-forward a few years to Winter 2013. I am officially in my post-grad life. I’ve reconnected with my friends who are home on Winter break – including John. Since high school, John and I have strengthened our friendship and we actually see each other every time we are home – in group settings, of course. We never actually hung out one-on-one until New Year’s Eve…
All my New Year’s Eve plans ceased to exist so I ended up bringing in the New Year on my couch – with my dog. It literally would have been the lamest night ever if John hadn’t come over after midnight just to hang out with little old lonely me. I was taken aback by his insistence in hanging out with me but I didn’t refuse. We were friends right?
So we hang out for a few hours – as friends – he leaves, and when he finally gets home I get a surprising text that basically changed everything from here on out. That one text had John barreling through the walls of the “Friend Zone”. But all I’m thinking is: how could this be happening? Up until now, I had completely blocked and ignored any signs leading up to his apparent crush. So naturally, I was floored.
Not to mention, although things weren’t going well with the boyfriend and I, we were still together – technically.
I neither rejected nor accepted John’s forward actions – just simply implied my curiosity. Mission: Initiated. We agreed to hang out one-on-one as soon as possible because as he had to return to school soon. So, by the time the winter weather conditions were cooperating, we went on a little “date.” The timing of it all couldn’t have been better because by the time we met up, I was #TeamSingle.
Our “date” went surprisingly well and after we went back to his place. Since I was freshly broken up, [literally the same day. Messy, I know] nothing happened. Not going to lie, I really did want to but I had to reel it back and pretend to be a lady. [LOL] However, the next night would be his last night home and my mind was in a different place. With a little liquid courage in my system, I saw NO reasons to reject a connection even if it was sexual and a little too soon.
A bunch of us planned to go out, so we pre-gamed together and headed out as a group. Of course while we’re out there is minimal flirting and lusty text messages. So I plotted with my best friend to seal the deal and just go for it! I mean, why not?
I stayed over and we definitely enjoyed each other’s company – a lot! An instant connection that probably should have happened a long time ago. When it was finally time for me to leave, the goodbye was a tad awkward, but we made our way through it.
The following month would be full of great conversation and getting to know each other on a brand new level. I think we would call it: The initial steps to “Baedom”..? He was great and I felt so… happy – to the point where I’m telling my parents about him. WHOAH, THERE!
When he came back home a month later, we had a blast! I mean a blast – flowers included! Then my birthday came a few weeks after that and I was surprised when he made a brief appearance. #HeyBoo. Everything looked so promising until things started to shift gears. John got really distant. The good morning/night texts would come few and far between and conversations would just end without any signal. Then it got to where we would go days without speaking. The daily conversations full of jokes and flirting turned to dead and awkward silence. Its now been a few weeks and I’m still sitting here like the awkward emoji girl. [Big. Fat. Question Mark.]
I’m not sure what was going on but I’m far from the convenient “Hometown Hookup” or the “Mission: Accomplished.” My mama raised me better than that!
So that’s where I’m coming to you from today friends, that awkward moment of mass confusion. This whole dating thing is new to me so I’m open to your thoughts on the topic. I mean I kind of dabbled in something that should have been off limits according to “Girl Code: 101” right? So, maybe this is karma? Should I be confused? Please, help me understand.