Let me learn you something real quick kids. There is an art form to accepting rejection.
Trust me, as a perpetual resident of – what do you youngins call it? The friendzone? – I can now say that I have received my Ph.d in the art of moving past the awkward moment of denial.
With all of the “Twitter guidelines” to an everlasting and meaningful relationship, and the Instagram posts celebrating eternal love and happiness of a two-month relationship full of insecurity, it might be hard to deal with the frustrations of being single in this mean dating world that we live in.
Now that I’m older and pretty much in my Dumbledore years of wisdom, I can say with full confidence that I have mastered the way to getting over a bruised ego, and it comes with becoming that annoying noun – an adult.
As we navigate through the wilderness that is our twenties, we’ve come to learn that it is universal knowledge that you’re going to get rejected more often than you are accepted. Nonetheless, hearing the words “no” or “I’m just not interested in you” is something that doesn’t get any easier to hear; especially when you thought you had a chance and ESPECIALLY when you were friends with that person beforehand. Putting yourself out there in this single world can be one of the most vulnerable moments in your young adult life. Between figuring out if someone is only a random hookup and trying to have a conversation through texts and Twitter direct messages, it can be hard to understand just what the hell someone you’re interested in is thinking. Everyone wants honesty in the long run, but what happens when you get it and it’s NOT in your favor? How does one get past that without hiding in every metaphorical or literal corner they see? Can you be polly pissy pants about it? HOW DOES THIS WORK????
There are two ways you can go down the road of dealing with a punch to the self-esteem jugular. Because we’re all adults here, you’re free to go down whichever road you please. But it is extremely telling of your maturity level of whatever you decide.
Road #1: The unsurprisingly and not-so-secretive bitter approach
This is, unfortunately, the most commonly traveled road by our peers. With our society steadily moving towards living our lives through web content and social media, it’s easy for our generation to be able to subliminally (albeit, blatantly) bash the person that has rejected you via the Internet. We’ve all sent a subtweet or two in our lifetimes, but before you hit send on that not-all-vague song lyric tweet directed to the person who hurt your feelings, think about how this will benefit you in the long term. Does sending that tweet, or posting that status on Facebook really make you feel any better about your situation? (If it does, then you have some problems, well…). Here’s what’s most likely happening to your subliminal messaging once it’s sent: 1.) The person you’re speaking about saw it and has proceeded to ignore it and/or block you. 2.) The person and/or other people saw your messages and has proceeded to call you every type of “crazy” in the dictionary and/or is making fun of you with their friends. 3.) Your message will never be seen by the person and will subsequently be laid to rest with the other “in other unimportant news” messages in the world. 4.) It sparks a major blow out with said person which temporarily, may be something you’re looking for, but ultimately leads to you never having the same relationship that person, and you lose, again.
Road #2: The boringly safe, but ultimately effective approach
This is the road less traveled by our people and is sadly, the seemingly most unpopular one. It’s probably because the people who drive down this road just don’t see the point in raising their blood pressure on something that was only temporary. Instead of sending that passive-aggressive tweet with a sleepy face emoji or posting a picture of yourself looking good with the “You coulda had awlluh dis but you playing” caption, they simply don’t say a word and continue to be the best version of themselves possible. These are the people that don’t take the easy way out of things in life and know that while rising above rejection (or even a break up), is hard, it makes for a way better story in the end…
There’s a reason why people say think with your brain and not your heart. Though having great emotional depth is kind of a blessing, your heart can make you do crazy things. And since we’re all on this journey of being a better person in the long run, wouldn’t you just want to cut the crap and keep shining? Go down road #2; you’ll thank me in the long run.
You can say you’re on road #2; but are you really? Take a long, hard look at your recent actions and decide what kind of person you want to be. Everything you do in life doesn’t have to be just for a significant other or to “stunt on people” – you’re human. Everyone gets dumped and EVERYONE is single at some point in their life. Take it with pride, and remember you are too cute to be hung up on someone that doesn’t want you.
Or, you can be like these fools. Your choice.